"By controlling the narrative around sex— it’s expression, utility, acceptability, and practice—we’ve essentially handed prophets by way of purity culture the precision of a surgical knife to mutilate our self-trust beyond recognition." 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Wow, excellent piece. Thank you for sharing!
I don’t often feel that media at large tells a story that myself and the people in my life relate to but this series was so spot on. And your essay on it? *chef’s kiss* The ex mormon cherry on top of the sundae.
Chelsea your writing always stuns me! I don't want to stop thinking about this show—it altered my brain in ways that (unlike you) I don't have words for so thank you ❤️
Reading this piece I feel so much less alone and deeply comforted. Those purity culture narratives and understandings are lodged so deeply inside. Eroticism, pleasure, all of it has never had any true autonomy or connection to self. I too am tired of crying over sex. I get so angry that this part of me is underdeveloped. That part feels like a child who was quickly abandoned after being given one rule, stay pure, stay good. With that rule came a list of anything that was a threat, and a consequence for breaking that rule that felt like life or death. Then the child was abandoned and grew feral with no continued nurturing, destroying anything that might be a semblance of a threat to this purity because the alternative was unfathomable to them. Finding those pieces they so thoroughly destroyed feels near impossible, are they even there? Will this child ever be able to know they are safe enough now grow? To be teachable? Somehow I think so, and ever so tepidly hoping so.
Thank you, as always, for your writing, it is a healing salve.
This comment is so beautifully written. I too have continuously struggled with grief and anger over my stunted sexual development that has caused deep wounds both in myself and in my relationship with my husband. I'm in therapy, and there's been progress, but every time I slip back into old patterns of fear and panic and "being a good girl" I get so so frustrated and feel like I will never "get there."
The rally dance had me sobbing too as did the "My body did a really good job. It did so good.” 😭 This is perhaps my favorite thing you've ever written and I can't wait to rewatch this with my partner.
"By controlling the narrative around sex— it’s expression, utility, acceptability, and practice—we’ve essentially handed prophets by way of purity culture the precision of a surgical knife to mutilate our self-trust beyond recognition." 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Wow, excellent piece. Thank you for sharing!
I don’t often feel that media at large tells a story that myself and the people in my life relate to but this series was so spot on. And your essay on it? *chef’s kiss* The ex mormon cherry on top of the sundae.
Chelsea your writing always stuns me! I don't want to stop thinking about this show—it altered my brain in ways that (unlike you) I don't have words for so thank you ❤️
Chelsea 😭 There’s so much I want to comment but mainly just that this is a beautiful post and the world is better for you having written it. 🤍
Apparently I need to go watch this series ASAP!
Reading this piece I feel so much less alone and deeply comforted. Those purity culture narratives and understandings are lodged so deeply inside. Eroticism, pleasure, all of it has never had any true autonomy or connection to self. I too am tired of crying over sex. I get so angry that this part of me is underdeveloped. That part feels like a child who was quickly abandoned after being given one rule, stay pure, stay good. With that rule came a list of anything that was a threat, and a consequence for breaking that rule that felt like life or death. Then the child was abandoned and grew feral with no continued nurturing, destroying anything that might be a semblance of a threat to this purity because the alternative was unfathomable to them. Finding those pieces they so thoroughly destroyed feels near impossible, are they even there? Will this child ever be able to know they are safe enough now grow? To be teachable? Somehow I think so, and ever so tepidly hoping so.
Thank you, as always, for your writing, it is a healing salve.
This comment is so beautifully written. I too have continuously struggled with grief and anger over my stunted sexual development that has caused deep wounds both in myself and in my relationship with my husband. I'm in therapy, and there's been progress, but every time I slip back into old patterns of fear and panic and "being a good girl" I get so so frustrated and feel like I will never "get there."
I watched this mini-series just so I could fully appreciate your essay. Both were so good. Thank you, as always.
The rally dance had me sobbing too as did the "My body did a really good job. It did so good.” 😭 This is perhaps my favorite thing you've ever written and I can't wait to rewatch this with my partner.
This was so good and so beautiful. I loved this show so much. 🖤